Movies, magazines, television, and more encourage us to fight to look younger — with the implication being that the older you get, the less desirable you are. That message, combined with hormonal issues, physical changes, or a long-term relationship in which sex has been put on the back burner, make it harder for older women to feel sexy or assume their best sex lives are behind them.
Well, we are here to tell you that simply isn’t true!
In fact, as women get older, they become more in tune with their bodies and what they need and want in the bedroom. “With age comes knowledge,” says Melissa Jones, a certified sexologist in San Antonio, Texas. “Older women are more confident and skilled.” So if you know what you want, why aren’t you getting it?
If you are among the women who feel like their sex lives have gone from hot to not, Jones says you don’t have to take it lying down (so to speak).
It Could Be Chemical
If the only heat being generated in your bed is from night sweats, see your doctor. Something as simple as balancing your hormones can make all the difference in your sex life. “When it comes to women’s sexual health, the biggest culprit is perimenopause,” says Jones, adding that hormonal imbalances can lead to physical symptoms, such as vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse painful. “A quick fix for this is a great silicone lube,” she says. We recommend a little coconut oil.
Not having hormonal issues? Health issues like thyroid conditions can also contribute to lack of sex drive and decreased energy levels. A doctor can help you pinpoint any underlying causes if you lack in interest in sex.
Anti-depressants and other medications can also have a significant impact on your libido and arousal. Before taking anything, talk with your doctor about potential sexual side effects. Sometimes simply adjusting the dosage or switching to an alternative medication can help you get back in swing of things.
Make the Effort
If you’ve been married or with the same person for many years, you may have fallen into a sexual rut. How do you beat bedroom boredom? Focus on quality, not quantity. “The first step is finding time for intimacy — not just sex,” says Jones. “Working together to build a quality sex life can really bond a couple.” Jones suggests spicing things up by reading erotica together. “This allows you to imagine yourself and your partner in the story, rather than competing with the visual imagery of pornography,” she says. “It can really open up a great dialogue.” Another route: sexy lingerie. Yes, it may seem cliche, but you might just find that some lacy little nothings turn you on as much as it does your partner. But remember: There is nothing sexier than confidence.
If you’re not partnered up, there’s still absolutely no reason you can’t have a hot sex life. Some of us like the comfort of sex with an ex, but if that’s not you, get out there and meet someone new. Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are a great way to find a potential playmate (and even a long-term partner). We recommend thinking beyond what you think is an “acceptable” age and set your parameters a bit lower than might be comfortable. Many young men adore older women. Not convinced? Just read these quotes and anecdotes from young men — many in their 20s! — who can’t get enough of ladies of a certain age.